4-Wheelers & Surrender

Time to blog again. If for no reason other than to not see the heading of that last post, now ten months old. I've been tired of looking at it for months but hadn't had a shred of desire to blog. Looking back, it truly was a harsh winter -- according to local old timers, the worst they'd ever seen. The snow lingered until May, and boots and scarves stayed out WAY longer than what this girl thought was reasonable. But spring eventually came. And went. Same with summer.

Now it's mid-October, and winter is not far away. But thankfully we're prepared for what's supposed to be another hum-dinger of a winter. Silly phrase, but funny to write it anyway. Anyway, we're equipped now with what will hopefully prevent any more impalings by snow shovel. Uneven sidewalks covered in snow on a downward slope combined with a 200 pound man's full weight just don't mix.

Anyway, after much hunting and much researching, Paul found his 4-wheeler. It's fun to buzz around on around town, will remove much drama from coming snow removal and will be a blast pulling the kids around on the sled...right down the center of Richey's main street.

OK, on to the topic at hand. Surrender vs. Resignation. I wonder if you've ever considered those two words together. At first, they seem so similar. But after having them marinate in my mind over the last couple of weeks (nice mental picture, huh), I'm seeing that they're vastly different. It comes down to one thing.

When you're resigned to something, it's usually accompanied by a huffy sigh, maybe a martyr-like, "Well, if that's how it is, then I can't do anything to change it" type of sentiment, whether spoken or not. There's an external releasing of circumstances, but the inner fight remains. Any time the subject comes up, there's fire inside. It's not a dead thing -- it's still powerful. I can think of lots of times I've been resigned to something. Giving into my powerlessness to alter circumstances or people, but nowhere near giving up the fight inside. Wonder if anyone else identifies with that.

So what's surrender then? I'm coming to see surrender as one of the sweetest gifts God gives. It's not just acknowledging that I am powerless to change circumstances or people. It's letting the fight inside die. Walking away from the idea that I have to make sure my perspective is not only heard but validated. Gets into delicate territory, doesn't it. So counter-intuitive.

I had an experience last night where I made a conscious decision to surrender. Not be resigned where I was compliant on the outside but seething on the inside. Just simple surrender. I did it and was surprised by the sweetness that followed. Just peace.

There's lots more to explore with this, but for now it's time to sign off. Kids are home from school and I've got some celebrating to do with my three young scholars, all of who came home with great news of A's and A+'s earned today.